If you’ve ever dealt with
AT&T, you may have had an experience similar to mine. The definition of
“service” here is the one that means “mating”, as in “the stallion serviced the mare”. Just letting you
know before you read this.
Let me give you some background:
Last September I received a disconnect notice from Uverse. When I called, they
said my debit card had expired, so my (automatic) payment request had been
returned from my bank. OK. Fair enough. How much was my bill? $139. WOW! My
monthly charge is $60. Why so high? Well, I was told, there is the $60 account
fee, plus $50 equipment charge, plus a late fee, plus a reconnect fee, plus a
$5 convenience fee for now paying my
bill by phone. So I gave them the new expiration date, and paid the outrageous
bill.
Thinking this would be the end of
that, I settled into complacency, knowing there would be no more problem until
2021, when my debit card expires again.
Today I get a message from
AT&T that my internet service has been disconnected again, and I owe $132.
WTF? So I call, go through the infinitely long recorded menu, which informs me
I just made a $132 payment on November 20, and finally reach a customer
“service” representative.
She explains that, once again, my
payment has been “reversed” by my bank, so I owe the $132 again. She also
explains that the bill is high because of yada yada (same as in September). She
also informs me that the bill for November will not be “posted” until tomorrow
(Dec. 1).
“Why did my payment get
reversed?”
“We don’t know. I suggest you
call your bank.”
So I make the payment, and
immediately call the bank. They tell me they have received no request for
payment from AT&T in months. So, of course, I call AT&T back.
Recording: Is this regarding the
payment you made today? Do you wish details?
ME: NO.
Recording: How can I help you? I can understand complete sentences.
ME: I want to speak to a supervisor.
Recording: I’m sorry. I don’t
understand.
ME: I – WANT – TO – SPEAK – WITH – A – SUPERVISOR
Recording: Is this regarding the payment you made today? Do you wish
details?
ME: NO. SUPERVISOR PLEASE.
Recording: I’ll connect you with
someone who can help you with that.
Jay: Hello. My name is Jay. How can I help you?
ME: You can connect me with a supervisor.
Jay: Can you tell me what this
is in regards to?
ME: Yes. My Uverse account.
Jay: Maybe it’s something I can help you with.
ME: I seriously doubt that. Just connect me with a supervisor.
Jay: All our supervisors are busy helping other people.
ME: I’m not surprised. If all
your customers are as pissed off as I am, I’m sure they’re ALL busy and will be
for a LONG time!
(pause)
Jay: Can you tell me the problem, so I can let the supervisor know, as
soon as he is available?
ME: Yes. I can. I want to know why I’m paying $132 a month for
piss-poor service, that works about half the time, and I have to use my
personal hot spot the rest of the time, and why you say my payments are being “reversed”,
but can’t tell me why, other than to call my bank, which I have done, and the
bank says your payment request never came through the bank in the first place,
and why I’m not informed of a payment reversal until you have disconnected, so
there is a reconnect fee, PLUS a $5 inconvenience fee for paying my bill over
the phone, when I have an agreement to autopay every month. I also want to know why your automated recording tells me I made a payment on November 20, but your live representative tells me I didn't. I also want to know
how to reach you people, when your auto-recording says they don’t understand my
complete sentences, after it has just said it DOES understand complete
sentences, because I don’t stutter.
Jay: Thank you for that information. What is the phone number
associated with this account?
ME: Do you people not have caller ID? My number is 205-999-9999 (I gave
him my number)
Jay: Is that 215-998-8892?
ME: NO. It’s NOT.
Jay: Can you tell me slower?
ME: 2-zero-5-9-9-9-9-9-9-9
Jay: Our supervisors are all still busy.
ME: Of course they are!
20 minutes later, I get a supervisor.
John: Thank you for waiting. I hope you’re having a
great day!
ME: No. Actually I WAS having a great day until I had
to interface with AT&T. It has been steadily downhill since then.
John: Well, I’m gonna make your day great again!
ME: We will see…
(and I tell him the same thing I told Jay).
John did make my day a little better, informing me
that the debit card number they have “on file” isn’t mine, nor is it even close
to my actual number. No wonder my payment is being “reversed”. So far, so good,
until…
John: I’m going to make your day even better. We can
bundle your TV, phone…
ME: I’ve already got ONE AT&T service that works
half the time, and charges a FORTUNE for that half time. Why in the world would
I want to have TV and telephone that also work half the time, and furthermore,
that I can’t get help with when I need help, because the customer “service”
people don’t know anything, and supervisors are always busy, because customers get
so upset that only a supervisor can help them? What y’all apparently need down
there are more supervisors. NO. I do NOT want to bundle ANYTHING with AT&T.
I wouldn’t have Uverse in the first place if there were any other single
service in my area. When there is, rest assured, I will be OFF your books
entirely.
John: So I’ve made your day better?
ME: (sigh) Yes. I guess so. Slightly maybe.
John: Thank you for using AT&T.
Customer SERVICE.
At its BEST.
To quote the Late, Great, Lenny Bruce..."Communism is like one big phone company".
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