Sunday, October 3, 2021

Beacon of Hope

            Recently I heard an inspirational speech, given by a high school senior, entitled, “The U.S. Constitution – A Beacon of Hope”. In summary, the U.S. Constitution, including the Bill of Rights (First 10 Amendments) was crafted by our founding fathers to insure that every citizen was accorded the freedom and opportunity to obtain personal fulfillment – to be all he could be – pursuit of happiness.

            As the years went by, and society changed, so the Constitution had to be changed (amended). When we decided slavery was wrong (on so many levels), we changed our Constitution by abolishing slavery (13th Amendment). As a follow-up, the 14th Amendment granted citizenship to the former slaves, a Beacon of Hope for almost 4 million people. The 19th Amendment gave millions of women the right to vote. Another Beacon of Hope for half the population,

            Since 1776, the US flag had been considered a Beacon of Hope, and it was illegal to treat it with any manner of disrespect. But in 1989, the Supreme Court ruled that desecration of the flag by burning, trampling, ripping, spitting, or any other act of disrespect, is “Freedom of Speech”, guaranteed in the very first Amendment.  Again, a Beacon of Hope for those people who wish to express their personal viewpoints.

            In the early 1700s, John and Charles Wesley were responsible for the formation of Methodism. The FIRST disagreement they had with the Church of England, and the reason they originally separated was the church’s belief that “God has determined from eternity whom He will save and whom He will damn” (predestination). Wesley regarded this to be erroneous doctrine, and insisted that the love of God was universal. UNIVERSAL. That seems simple – all inclusive, but alas, the history of the church and its doctrine have been rife with arguments AGAINST God’s Universal Law.

            As with the U.S. Constitution, the Christian doctrine should have changed to be a Beacon of Hope to people worldwide. We should have welcomed Native Americans, African Americans, Africans in Africa, Eskimos, Chinese, Russians into the Church because God’s love is universal.

            We should have agreed that God’s universal love includes women, children, all races, all economic situations, pedophiles, murderers, spouse abusers, child abusers, LGBTQ etc. people – ALL people. It took decades and almost 2 centuries for us to decide women are people too, deserving of voting.

We should have remembered that Jesus said the most important Commandments are Love God and Love Your Neighbor. There is NOTHING Jesus said that excludes ANYONE from being your neighbor. You are to love UNIVERSALLY.

            Jesus did NOT say you have to LIKE or AGREE with or CONDONE your neighbor’s behavior. There are practices and customs by people around the world  that the discipline does not address, such as polygamy and cannibalism. We seldom see those practices in the U.S., and Jesus did not say you have to participate in any of these.  

  It is interesting that the religious texts of the world’s four major religions (Christianity, Judaism, Hindu, Islam)  ALL require one loves his neighbor.

            Are some people/peoples hard to love? Absolutely YES.  Is it easier to leave them to God to love, while we sit in our cozy living rooms and hate them? Absolutely YES.  Does loving them even mean we have to welcome them into our homes? Absolutely NO.  Does loving them mean we condone their actions or beliefs? Absolutely NO.  Does loving them mean we have to agree with them? Absolutely NO. Does loving them mean we even have to LIKE them? Absolutely NO.

So what does loving them mean? I think it means many versions of “Love the sinner. Hate the sin,” or as Jesus said, “Love your enemies.” Let that sink in a minute. I mean REALLY SINK IN.

I hear hate speech every day from just about everywhere except in the shower. Friends, relatives, TV, radio, podcasts, billboards, pamphlets, books, social media… and almost every single word is hate of another person: Joe Biden, Donald Trump, Nancy Pelosi, Robert E. Lee, Rush Limbaugh, and the list goes on ad nauseum. NEVER do I hear something like, “Nancy Pelosi has very different ideas from mine. I will pray for God to give her wisdom and guidance.” Or “Rush Limbaugh is very outspoken, but his ideas and philosophy are directly opposite mine. I will pray for God to give him wisdom and tolerance.”

Yes. The Constitution shines its Beacon of Light upon you and your freedom of speech.

But I challenge you to love your neighbor, and if you MUST spout hatred against another, can you either do it quietly, or spew with vengeance against the ideas or doctrines, rather than the person. Can you be a “Beacon of Hope” to your neighbors?

Sunday, September 19, 2021

Words

Words are powerful. Our words can incite hate and rebellion, or invite peace and love, and everything in between.

I hear a lot of discussion about the First Amendment “Right to free Speech” from all sides of the political spectrum. But it seems like almost everyone wants to utter words that incite hate, rather than words that invite love. I hear a lot from people who hate people they don’t know, but not much about people they love.

Social media has inflated this problem. I read with sadness the venom spewed by political zealots, and it seems like almost everyone has become a political zealot. What I have NOT seen is anyone at ALL who says, “Oh, You are right! You have changed my (political) mind.” 

Words of antagonism and hostility can only increase the great divide that already separates us. These words are great bullets, that invite retaliation of greater bullets from the “enemy”.

I’m getting older, and gone are the days of my youth, when I could sit with someone from another political party and have a discussion. I miss that. A LOT.

Hate speech can only harm. It cannot heal. It incites your political side to shouts of agreement, but never, NEVER changes the minds of your political opponents.

So I love prayers. Ministers and chaplains always put away their political biases and pray for “our leaders”, whether they agree with their political views or not.  

And I love my veteran brothers and sisters. We speak powerful words too, but mostly uplifting words of encouragement, love, empathy and peace. We have so much that unites us that we don’t have much time at all for whatever divides us. 

We are family.

Thursday, September 9, 2021

Lest We Forget

 Few events in our history have so affected us that we remember them and relive them our entire lives.

None of us were around on April 19, 1775, but I can imagine that a whole generation asked each other, “Where were you when Major Buttrick shouted, “For God’s sake! FIRE!” and that shot was heard around the world, ultimately changing the course of history forever.

My mamma and daddy could tell me exactly where they were on December 7, 1941, a “date that does live in infamy”.

Some of us still ask, “Where were you when President Kennedy was assassinated?”

I was a teenager, it was Fall of my senior year, and I was in art class at Woodlawn High School.

On June 11, 1963, Governor George Wallace had stood on the steps of Foster Auditorium at the University of Alabama and declared, “Segregation now. Segregation forever.” It would come to be known as the “Stand in the Schoolhouse door”  That footage became so well-known made it into the movie Forest Gump.

In Birmingham, we had survived the “Long Hot Summer of ‘63”, with firehoses and police dogs versus peaceful demonstrators on the streets of downtown. A time that would be replayed over and over on national TV for 50 years.

On August 28, 1963, a quarter of a million people marched on Washington D.C., and they were calmed by Reverend Martin Luther King’s “I have a dream” speech – a presentation that will be repeated so often it is more recognizable than the Gettysburg address.

We had already been horrified on September 15, when the 16th Street Baptist Church was bombed, killing 4 little girls attending Sunday School. I remember where I was and who I was with when that news was received moments after it happened.

So we wondered what the hell else could happen? could It possible get any worse? 1963 said, “Here. Hold my beer.”

On November 22, 1963, one deadly shot in Dallas, TX horrified our nation, and the world. For a time, we were no longer Republicans or Democrats, but Americans - UNIFIED in grief. John F. Kennedy was President of the United States. That’s ALL of us. Nobody said, “The Democrats lost their President.”

The next 40 or so years, though, were painful on many issues. Black vs white, North vs South… we were still fighting the War Between the States, Marines vs the rest of the military, Vietnam, Gulf War, Somolia, Panama, and on and on, until

September 11, 2001.

Where were you on Sept 11, 2001 at 7:46am Central time? When American Airlines Flight 11 crashed into the North Tower of the World Trade Center?  If you were born before about 1991 (the year of Desert Storm), you probably can remember exactly where you were.

By 9:07am, an hour and 15 minutes later, when United flight 93 crashed In Pennsylvania, I know where you were, and what you were doing. You were glued to a television somewhere. You were shocked, angry, and feeling confused and helpless.

You watched in anguish as the Twin towers fell again and again, and the Pentagon exploded. You watched first responders rush through noxious smog into barely visible black holes into crumbling buildings, and people leapt to their deaths from dozens of stories up to escape death by fire. Maybe you wept. Maybe you prayed.

Unless you lived and worked in NYC. Unless you were a first responder in the area. There was no time for weeping or anger. For them, there was only FOCUS.

Of the almost 3000 citizens who perished that day, over 400 were first responders, most of those were firefighters, and ALL of them were true heroes.

My pastor says the church isn’t the building. The church is the people. Its symbol is a cross. Likewise, the United States isn’t the Twin Towers or the Pentagon. The United States is the people. Our symbol is our flag. None of the heroes of 9/11 rushed into the Twin Towers to save a building. Their purpose was to rescue PEOPLE.

In my heart, I KNOW most of them realized that rushing into the mouth of hell that day could most likely be their last action on this earth. I believe most of them knowingly sacrificed all their tomorrows so that somebody’s mother or father, or somebody’s son or daughter could have a TODAY.

The Bible tells us  “Greater love hath no man than this: that he lay  down his life for his friends.”

Except maybe that he lay down his life for a complete stranger?

In the years after 9/11/2001, thousands of first responders suffered the effects of the heat and breathing the toxic dust that day, and many would die from it in a couple of years. By 2013, over 1400 first responders who had worked the scene that day had died from the diagnosis “exposure to toxins at Ground Zero”.  By 2016, another 2100 firefighters had retired on disability with World Trade Center-related illnesses, mostly lung diseases and cancers. This brought the total count of “first Responder casualties” to almost 4,000.

But for a time after the attack on us on 9/11/2001, we ceased being Democrats or Republicans, black or white, Christian or Jewish, rich or poor. Nobody cared if you ate at Chic-fil-a or Ruth’s Chris.

For a time, You remember. we were ALL Americans. We stood shoulder to shoulder, arm in arm, suffering and grieving the same profound loss. American flag companies sold out. There was hardly a car or a truck or a house that did not display an American flag.  What mattered was NOT what divided us, but what UNITED us.  It was the greatest surge of patriotism in my lifetime.

Lest they forget, it is VITAL that we teach our children and grandchildren the pride and glory that being a patriotic America citizen feels like. That’s the real importance of our annual 9/11 memorial services.

We remember and celebrate the day the fires of patriotism burned the brightest, and the day the American spirit could NOT be quenched. It is why we call September 11 “Patriot Day”.

So remember … Where were you on 9/11/2001?  and please… tell the story

Friday, June 25, 2021

No Other Choice

 Behind every strong woman is a story that gave her no other choice"                                                                                                                            …Nakeia Homer

This quotation made me think. I mean really. Usually I read quotations and think, “That’s cute.” or “Clever!” or “Very profound.” THIS one, though, got me to thinking about the many strong women I’ve known and their stories.

If you know me, you know I’m not a feminist. Or really much of any other “…ist”. So don’t misunderstand me, but men don’t understand. Actually, most women don’t either. I can tell by the comments:

     “Why didn’t you leave him?”

    “You always have a choice.”

    “I would have…(insert any action)…”

    “You are too smart to put up with that.”

    “You should have called the police.”

    “You could have taken the children and left.”

The answer to any of these questions is not simple. It is a very, very complicated journey from “We were high school sweethearts,” to “He wouldn’t allow me contact with friends or family.”  It is a long and complex journey from “We were young and so in love,” to “He only hits me when he is drunk.” She can’t explain years and years of “no choice” in a few words.

It took a degree in Psychology PLUS really, really LISTENING to a few stories from strong women for me to kinda understand the concept of “no other choice”. Typically, unless you have been in a “no other choice” situation, you do NOT understand the concept.  But here it is:

ONLY STRONG WOMEN SURVIVE THE “NO OTHER CHOICE” SITUATION. The weak ones usually don’t come out very well on the other side, if they come out at all.

Bottom line: If there was a choice, she was not in a “no other choice” situation, which is what people who have never been in a no other choice situation will likely never understand.  

Sunday, February 7, 2021

Drivethrough Shootings

 For several weeks I have been involved in drive-through shootings.

Working in the UAB-Highlands parking deck, 8 RNs are giving approximately 2000 COVID vaccine injections a day. As I drive home every day, I talk to my friend Linda, who got me this job. As she says, I “debrief” her about my day.

Since I’m not in charge of anything or anyone except myself, and since I have ONE JOB, it follows that everything else is NOT my job. Almost everything – except stepping to the car, giving the injection, and applying a bandage – is, LITERALLY, above my pay grade.

So what do I tell Linda during a 20 minute drive every day? Well, most of them can’t be printed here, because the tale itself could identify specific people, and that’s not fair, since I have 50 years experience, and some of them have a year or less experience… but it isn't rocket surgery to give an IM injection into a person’s deltoid, so…

But… when a young nurse told me that back when she worked at UPS, they had to use not only military hours, but also military “minutes”, I had to ask wtf she meant by that. She told me that, for example, if it is 4:30pm, the military time would be 1650, if you used minutes too. I had to smh. She said she had all those military minutes memorized back when she worked for UPS, but has forgotten most of it now. I really wondered how she got through nursing school, and I had to tall Linda about that, but I digress…

Aside from working standing up for 5 hours in 35 degree weather, the job itself gets rather routine, rote, and frankly boring, until this happened:

A car drove up, stopped, and the driver indicated that the “patient” is in the back seat on the passenger side.

When she rolled down the window, there was an elderly (our patients right now are 75+) lady with a pretty, hand-made pink lacy mask.  I said, “Please raise your sleeve and hold it.”

I cleaned her deltoid with an alcohol wipe, waited 10 seconds for it to dry, and injected the needle. For some reason, I looked at her face. Her eyes were red, and big tears were rolling down her face onto her mask. This injection is a tiny needle, and only 0.3cc, so we don’t get many criers.

“OH! Did I hurt you?” I exclaimed. “I’m so sorry!”

“Oh no! I didn’t even feel it, Hon. These are tears of JOY. After 10 months, now I will finally be able to hug my grandchild.”

I cried too, and now, retelling it, I am crying yet again.

There are many stories similar to this one. As you go about your day, ZOOMing with your clubs and organizations, fist-bumping your friends, watching the skewed news, or wondering and worrying about the weather, you need to know how very much this vaccine means to so many people.

For many, this is not as much about being able to go back to church or to meetings or taking off your mask at the grocery store … it is about LOVE.

Sunday, December 13, 2020

Why I Joined a VSO

 I see a lot of posts on social media about how younger veterans don’t feel like the established VSOs (American Legion, VFW, Amvets, etc.) “relate” to them. Several groups have risen up across America that cater specifically to the younger veterans. They advertise that they are “family friendly”, and offer a place where veterans and their families can come play tennis, basketball, video games, or drink and have a place to sleep it off.

In my mind, this is fine, but NOT a “substitute” for a VSO. The typical VSO is not a gym or a hotel with a bar. Neither is their purpose a social club. I grant you, some of them DO have a bar, but that is their way to raise funds for the programs they have for veterans and their families. The middle letter in VSO stands for SERVICE. And most of them are quite “family friendly” because they have myriad programs and opportunities for spouses and children of veterans.

SERVICE: I can’t list everything, because I have to eat and sleep sometimes, but here are a few of the things the VSOs in Birmingham (and everywhere) do:

* Have CERTIFIED Service Officers whose job it is to file your disability claim. FREE.

* Service Officers also help with other benefits, such as:

            GI Bill benefits

            VA Loans for housing

            Education benefits for spouses and dependent children

            Obtaining your military records

Depending on which state you live in, there are other, state-based benefits the Service officer knows about. In Alabama, we have nursing homes and

State-based benefits in addition to your National VA benefits.

*Most VSOs also have money for emergency payments (electricity, gas, rent)

*Some VSOs use some of their money for emergency food, Christmas for the            children of veterans (and others), CARE packages sent overseas, etc.

*Most VSOs also work with local Home Depots and contractors to repair homes of             veterans or their widows – everything from major stuff like roofs,   bathrooms,        kitchens – to building wheelchair ramps, repairing walls and  floors, etc.

*VSOs have essay and/or oratorical contests that provide quite large scholarships   

for  children of veterans. Some also sponsor baseball and soccer teams at their  local schools. Then there is American Legion Baseball (scholarships)

*American Legion sponsors Boys State in every state. Every boy who attends gets          a guaranteed scholarship. The American Legion Auxiliary sponsors girls to Girls State.

*Most VSOs have an “honors” team that provides bugles, rifles and/or chaplains for interment of veterans. Some also have Patriot Guard Riders liaisons. They also will, if asked, provide flag education, flag disposal ceremonies, and flag disposal for your unserviceable flag.

*VSOs always support other veterans groups, like all the State and National Cemeteries, Wreaths Across America, parades, Veterans Day and Memorial Day programs, Three Hots and a Cot, the Vet Centers, and activities at the local V.A. Hospitals – visitation, coffee rooms, information desks, homeless veterans programs, baby showers at the V.A. Clinic, etc.

*Virtually ALL VSOs have an Auxiliary that helps with their programs, and some even have a YOUTH group, with leaders from the organization that teach HONOR, SERVICE, and mentor our future leaders

So please join your other veterans groups. Have fun. But do NOT think these are a substitute for the Veteran Service Organizations. That is comparing apples and cherry pie.

 If I ask you why you joined a local veterans club, you will tell me it’s because you can play ball, drink, bring your family to watch a football game. You might also tell me you don’t relate to an old veteran sitting in a bar telling war stories.

 If you ask me why I joined a VSO, I’ll tell you because it is an opportunity. Not only am I around other veterans with whom I share experiences, it allows me to identify and assist those who are struggling. It allows me to offer scholarships to children who otherwise might not be able to attend college. It lets me help others with their benefits, and I am proud to be on a flag HONORS team.

 And while I do visit other VSOs, and sit at their bars and have a beer with them, watch the World Series with them, talk about who won the Army/Navy game or the Alabama/Auburn game, or maybe play a game of poker or BUNKO with them, or get on on their football board, I am NOT an old man.

Monday, November 30, 2020

30 Days of Gratitude - Day 30

 Day 30 – November 30 – “Give thanks for God’s continued love, grace, and mercy”

I am so grateful I was born after Christ. The God of the Old Testament seemed to be an angry, vengeful, fear-invoking God. I’m not a Biblical scholar, but I don’t remember any scripture in the Old Testament that depicts God as a God of love, grace, and mercy.

Having children changes you. Maybe the birth of His Son changed Him too. Jesus was both fully human and fully divine. Of course, Jesus changed the world. Some say the whole point of sending Jesus was so he could experience the human condition firsthand.  I don’t pretend to know the mind of God. But if the Bible is to be believed, and I do believe it, after Jesus was born, God became a God of love, grace, and mercy. He became compassionate.

So since I hope to spend eternity somewhere besides in everlasting flames, I am very thankful for God’s forgiveness (mercy) for my many transgressions, for God’s grace that I don’t have to “earn” , and for His unconditional love,.

Amen and AMEN

Sunday, November 29, 2020

30 Days of Gratitude - Day 29

 Day 29 – November 29 – First Sunday of Advent – “Give thanks that the Christ-child is coming and continues to come to us”

Yesterday I put together my Advent wreath. Today the first candle, that represents “HOPE” was lit.

The current sermon series at church is on Dreams, and our Advent meditations for the month are also about dreams and dreaming.

When Christ was a “gleam in his Father’s eye”, so to speak, an angel appeared to Mary to tell her of her impending pregnancy. But the angel appeared to Joseph in a dream to inform him that his fiancé was having a baby. There are Biblical scholars who believe Mary probably also had a dream, but that the writer of the Gospels probably thought an angel appearing in person would be more believable to the people of the time.

The Magi had a dream too. Many things were revealed to people in dreams in Biblical times. Angels appeared to the shepherds to let them know Christ was born. All of the time surrounding the coming of Christ seems to be wrapped up in angels and dreams.

Whether in a dream, or in person, the people directly involved in the birth of the Christ-child were informed of the event.

Christians celebrate the birth every year, and begin to anticipate it four weeks in advance.

I can’t imagine what the world would be like without Christ, so I do give thanks for His birth and life. He is always with us, in the Holy Spirit. Now, 2000 years later, we still anticipate the day He will come again.

Thank you, God, for the gift of Your son.

Amen.

Saturday, November 28, 2020

30 Days of Gratitude - Day 28

 Day 28 – November 28 – “Give thanks for what you’ve learned about yourself this month”

I’ve learned that I whine a lot.

I’ve learned that this isolation (due to COVID) has stolen a lot of my joy.

 God knows I’m trying to keep a positive attitude.

I’m alive and healthy, so I really am thankful for that. If I were sequestered and sick, what an awful situation that would be! And there are many other people in that exact place.

So while I haven’t really learned much about myself I didn’t already know, I truly thank God for my health.

Amen.

Friday, November 27, 2020

30 Days of Gratitude - Day 27

 Day 27 – November 27 – “Give thanks for your favorite place. Why is it your favorite place?”

My “favorite place” changes with my mood and my age.

Historically my favorite place has always been the beach. Keith’s sister, Dianne, had a cottage on the beach at Gulf Shores. It is where we walked along the surf at night, built sand turtles, and spent hours talking and laughing. It is where Keith asked me to marry him. Back then, the road and beach were deserted for miles on either side, except for one little oyster bar.

In about 1979, Hurricane Frederic blew away most of Gulf Shores, including Dianne’s cottage and the oyster bar. In the years that followed, Dianne rebuilt the cottage, this time up on stilts, with a modern kitchen, and large enough to sleep 8 adults.

All the surrounding property was built up. No longer is there a view. From Dianne’s deck the only view is a multistory timeshare building directly across the road. No view of the beach at all, and no access to it unless you walk a half mile down the road.  Going to the beach became a chore rather than a pleasure.

Then we started going to the mountains. Renting a chalet up in the area overlooking Gatlinburg, TN twice a year, and inviting Mark and Aaron’s friends to join us, made for such laughter, music, and happiness.

Then everyone grew up, Keith died, and Mark, Aaron and I made one last trip to Gatlinburg in 2008 to have a little ceremony and leave some of his ashes on the top of one of the mountains up there.  That was my last trip to the mountains.

I’ve always loved being at home. But once your family is out of your house, it sometimes ceases to feel like a “home”. While there are still memories there, they fade over time, and over the chores of upkeep, yardwork, cleaning, blowing leaves, changing light bulbs and eating leftovers in front of the TV.

Right now, my favorite place, and the place I spend a lot of time every week, is Alabama Veterans Memorial Park. The only two who live at my house now are Jaco and me. So about 3 times a week, we go up to AVMP and take a walk to the flagpole. Usually we are the only 2 in the park, so we have it all to ourselves. I usually talk to him as we hike up the road. I point out dead trees, Boy Scout bricks in the path,  and always comment on the state of the flag up on the flagpole. More often than not, I sit on a bleacher and remember … there I go again! Fond memories of Veterans Day and Memorial Day stepstone dedications, the year several of us worked as “docents” during the summer, and the day  a favorite 95-year-old WWII veteran, who was mostly blind, but whose friend brought him up there to sit with me, asked me to marry him.

He was a widower, who had 18 children by one wife, about 12 of whom were still living. I laughed and told him I could never “keep up with” his wife’s “activity”. I just don’t have the energy. We all laughed and he said, “Well, we didn’t have no TV back then.”

Yep. My favorite place right now is definitely AVMP.

Thursday, November 26, 2020

30 Days 6of Gratitude - Day 26

 Day 26 – November 26 –  Thanksgiving Day - “What traditions are you grateful for?”

As the years go by, and as every day of 2020 sometimes seems like a year, our traditions have waned, and this year they have pretty much died.

Today is Thanksgiving Day, and I do give thanks that my family and I are healthy, because when health is gone, nothing else matters much. Every Thanksgiving Day since I was born, I have gathered with extended family to eat, remember, and enjoy the togetherness.  It is the one day of the whole year some of us see each other. There is always plenty of food, the parade on TV, the men falling asleep on the couch in front of the TV while the women clean up the table and the kitchen, and enjoy some once-a-year girl time.

At the end of the day, we all hug and promise to text, call or visit more often… but we never do, which makes the Thanksgiving Day mini-family-reunion all the more special, and IMPORTANT.

Not this year. Not 2020.

It is so very strange this year. I’m not somebody to give up easily, though. This year there is no big family gathering. This year our Thanksgiving feast includes just Aaron and me. Mark and Michelle are coming over to sit on the porch and talk a while.  So no turkey. No casseroles and deviled eggs. No pumpkin and pecan pies. Like I said, I don’t give up easily. I did a crockpot chicken, and quartered it. Instead of huge casseroles, I did tiny casseroles in aluminum “pans” and carried Thanksgiving dinner around to Mark and Michelle and several friends who can’t gather, and who will be pretty much alone today.

I think Christmas will be similar.

I think New Years Eve and New Years Day will too.

 I think the traditions of the past will remain in the past. Once a tradition is dropped, it is very hard to renew it later.  So thank you Lord, for 74 years of happy, warm traditions.

They can take away the traditions, but they can’t take away my memories of them.

Wednesday, November 25, 2020

30 Days of Gratitude - Day

 Day 25 – November 25 – “Give thanks for someone who can make you laugh”

The one person who can make me laugh ANY time is Mark Branson. His unique form of humor makes me laugh until I cry, and my sides hurt, and I can’t catch my breath.

However, because I love him so very much, he can also make me cry with his caustic and hurtful words.

Isn’t it strange that the one person who can delight you so much can also hurt you so much?

So I’ll suffer the “bad” because the “good” is so wonderful.

Tuesday, November 24, 2020

30 Days of Gratitude - Day 24

Day 24 – November 24 – “Give thanks for a longtime friend”

I could write a book about this one!

But I’m going to choose just ONE friend – Pat.

We met in the back seat of Mr. Hall’s car on the way to the Citywide spelling bee competition in 1960. Mr. Hall was the principal of both Minnie Holman and Woodlawn Elementary Schools. Pat was the winner from Woodlawn, and I was the runner-up from Holman. That day was the beginning of a friendship that has lasted these last 65 years.

Just as an outline, there are these things:

1.    I am godmother to her children

2.    She was matron of honor in my first wedding in 1969. (She saved the pictures and recently sent them to me.)

3.    For 50 or so years, we wrote letters back and forth about once a month and spoke on the phone about once a year. (Before internet, cell phones and texting) That was the way people in different cities communicated back then. Hard to imagine now.

4.    When I moved to Texas, she took care of me and my family for several months, until we got settled.

5.    Both our mothers were overbearing, controlling, and independent.

6.    Both our fathers were laid back, loving, fun and controlled by our mothers.

7.    Both our mothers outlived our fathers.

8.    Over the years, Pat has anticipated my needs, and often called me to offer help before I even knew I needed help.

9.    We both love to write.

10. We both joined the military

11. We love each other more than sisters, but yet we ARE “Sisters” because we both are NSDAR members.

I can’t imagine my life without Pat, so yes. I thank God EVERY DAY for bringing Pat into my life, and keeping her there all these years.

Monday, November 23, 2020

30 Days of Gratitude - Day 23

 Day 23 – November 23 – “Give thanks for someone that told you a difficult truth”

This is the hardest assignment yet. I’m not sure anyone has told me difficult truths, other than that a loved one has died, or like last week, my children aren’t coming for Thanksgiving or Christmas this year. It is hard to give thanks for any of that, and I’m pretty sure none of that is the “spirit” of this assignment.

Nobody has ever told me I’m not smart enough to do something, or that I can’t do something because I’m female, or that I’m too old for something.

That said, I’m still waiting for someone to tell me what appears right now to be a truth, and it will be very difficult indeed: That I’m not getting a fence in my back yard. And it will be equally difficult to give thanks for the person that has to tell me that.

Sunday, November 22, 2020

30 Days of Gratitude - Day 22

 Day 22 – November 22 -  “Give thanks for those that bless the church with their musical talents.”

Music is so important to the  experience of worship.

When I was a child out in rural St. Clair County, my parents started attending a tiny church out in the middle of nowhere. It had maybe 10 people there, besides the preacher. They had a piano in the “sanctuary”, but nobody played it, and they didn’t sing hymns, even though there were some hymnals on the pews.

Mother volunteered to play the piano for them on Sunday mornings, so they could sing hymns. Well, that led to a small choir, and then to a prelude and a postlude. Then more people started coming. Within a year, the little sanctuary was PACKED!

With more adults, there were more children, more babies, and they opened a nursery for Sunday mornings. Pretty soon, there was Sunday School and first Saturday night “Singing and Supper on the grounds”, and then Memorial Day to clean and decorate the graves in the little church cemetery.

In another year, there was enough money to buy a small organ, and then they had to have 2 services, because the sanctuary wasn’t big enough to hold all the people who wanted to come to church.

They had weddings and funerals. The choir did Christmas specials. Practically the whole little community was attending church! All within about 3 years, total.

So yes.  I definitely give thanks for everyone who shares their voice, their direction, their instrument playing, and even their ideas!

Thank you!!!

Saturday, November 21, 2020

30 Days of Gratitude - Day 21

 Day 21 – November 21 – “Name a random act of kindness you’ve received.”

I am inundated with random acts of kindness. I receive one almost every day.

I will tell you about some of them I’ve received in the last week or so, but you might not recognize them as “random acts of kindness”, but I would argue that any kind act someone does for me, that happened “randomly” fits the definition. One of the very simple ones I can think of right off the top of my head is when Aaron was over here last week, and carried out my garbage. Then he came back and put a new bag in the can. He didn’t tell me, wasn’t asked… just did it out of kindness, and it certainly was RANDOM.

Also last week, I had 50 newsletters to address and stamp. Patty randomly called and offered to help me address them. Kindness indeed.

You already know about my neighbor who gives me eggs from his chickens. This is kind of an “ongoing” act of kindness, so might not be so random any more.

Every once in a while, dear Pat sends me a box of books. What a wonderful thing for her to do for me! It’s always random, and I consider it a true act of kindness.

Linda occasionally brings me a blouse or a floor mat or a pair of shoes, or a book, and says, “This made me think of you.” Or “This is so YOU.” Random? Yes. Kind? VERY.

Sometimes Michelle shows up with buttermilk popsicles.

Sharon writes me notes and leaves them in my car seat. Sometimes it is a card, or a “just thinking of you” note. It always makes my day!

Lea called and offered her staff to help me unload the Wreaths Across America truck when it arrives. That is several weeks away, but what a kind thought, and takes loads of stress off me.

Chris messaged me and has offered Alabama Veteran members to help place the wreaths on the graves on December 19.

And precious Amanda encourages me with her weekly phone call “check-in”. She realizes that to me, texting is impersonal. It also is difficult for me, since I can’t hit a single little digit with my huge fingers, and spend more time correcting what I pecked than I spent even thinking about the message. Three words take me 3 minutes to text. So I tend to “sound” abrupt in my texts. But Amanda spends an hour or so of her time every week talking to me on the phone.

For me, every random act of kindness is a blessing, so when I say I am blessed, I really really mean it.

30 Days of Gratitude - Day 20

 

Day 20 – November 20 – “What made you smile today?”

The first thing that made me smile today was when I woke up and Jaco’s muzzle was snuggled against my neck. He was still asleep.

When I got up, I put on the robe Mark and Michelle gave me for Mother’s Day. Not only is it beautiful and soft and comfortable, but THEY gave it to me. I think about them whenever I put it on, and THAT makes me smile every morning.

While coffee was brewing, I fried 2 of the little brown eggs my neighbor gave me from his chickens. I thought about all the years my grandmother had chickens, and let me help feed them and gather eggs. Thinking about my grandmother made me smile.

Checked my email. Two bids on two items I have for sale on ebay. That made me smile!

This Thanksgiving and Christmas, I will be alone for the first time ever in my whole life. I’m still going to put up a tree.  Thank you 2020.  That doesn’t make me smile, but I did get out the old photo albums and remembered Christmases past. THAT made me smile, until I got to 2007. No pictures that Christmas. Hardest Christmas ever, until THIS year.

So, what mostly made me smile today?

Memories.

Thursday, November 19, 2020

30 Days of Gratitude - Day 19

 Day 19 – November 19 – “Give thanks for what you’ve learned and are learning about God”

I’ve learned that my 5-year-old idea of God being an old man in long robes, and sitting on a giant throne in the clouds isn’t a realistic view of God.

I’ve learned that no matter how big I can imagine God to be, He is much bigger.

And God is not a person. He is love and light. He is omnipotent and universal, which is, frankly, beyond my wildest imagination.

God neither rewards nor punishes people. He gave us free will, so if asked, He will give us guidance, but we are essentially masters of our own earthly fate.

I’ve learned that God answers prayer, but sometimes His answer is, “NO.” Nevertheless, prayer changes the one who prays. God doesn’t change. I do.

I’ve learned that sometimes, when I’m alone, I feel God’s presence all around me.

But sometimes I ask, “Where are You God?”

And I have learned that God gives us “prevenient grace”.

It is His eternal gift to us.

Thank you God, for loving me unconditionally.

Wednesday, November 18, 2020

30 Days of Gratitude - Day 18

 Day 18 – November 18 – “What is your favorite creation?”

Easy one. My  favorite creation is sunset on the beach. Hands down.

30 Days of Gratitude - Day 17

Day 17 – November 17– “What do you love about your friends?”

For every friend I have, I love something different, because no two are alike.

1.    1. Some of my friends are warm and caring,

2.   2.  Some of my friends are brutally honest, yet also caring.

3.    3. Some of my friends will talk to me any time of the day or night, any day of the week.

4.    4. Some of my friends call me to share the troubles that arise in their lives

5.    5. Some call me to share the joys that arise in their lives.

6.    6. Some listen intently but silently.

7.    7. Some listen and give me feedback.

8.    8. Some of my friends anticipate my troubles or needs, and act almost miraculously to make things better.

9.    9. Some of my friends and I have drifted apart over the years.

1   I love my friends, and I love that they love me too.


Monday, November 16, 2020

30 Days of Gratitude - Day 16

 Day 16 – November 16 – “Name a time that you’ve been given a second chance.”

Second chances are slippery slopes, and sometimes have grim outcomes.

 Since this 30-day exercise is about inspection and self awareness, I’m pretty sure the intent is not to explore all the mistakes I’ve made over the years. I have, however, explored many of them, and a whole lot of them involve second chances. But I am a person who likes to find “silver linings”, so while many of my “second chances” have been disastrous, I like to cover up the disasters with things like, “… well, if I hadn’t made THIS choice, I wouldn’t have met you,” or “.. well, if I hadn’t made THAT choice, I never would have been a nurse or a soldier or a mother.”

The BIG silver lining is that God ALWAYS gives me a second chance, and a third and a fourth… ad infinitum.

Thank you, God!

Sunday, November 15, 2020

30 Days of Gratitude - Day 15

 Day 15 – November 15 – “Give thanks for your pastor”

Thank you, Lord, for Reverend Malinda Weaver.

Pastor Malinda is youngish for a pastor, but that gives her a freshness and an energy that is inherent in youth, but mostly lost in older ministers.

She is “on call” 24/7, and every Sunday has a fresh, new “lesson” (that’s the new term for a sermon). I wonder if older pastors have a portfolio of sermons that they recycle at every new church, kinda like professors that have a set of lectures they use every course. I’m pretty sure Pastor Malinda doesn’t yet have a set of prepared lectures. I think she writes a new one every week.

Before COVID, we rode together to visit our “shut-in” and ill church members. She has a great sense of humor, and I really enjoy traveling with her.

She has a clear, articulate voice, but she is working on doing the little inflections at the end of her sentences like the old-timey Methodist preachers used to do.

One of the things I like most about Pastor Malinda is she has no fear of difficult Bible verses, and will preach on any of them.  And I think it’s a “thing” now, that preachers do sermon “series”. Gratitude is going on right now, hence this project that will continue through November 30.

And today, at Avondale Park, was the “Blessing of the Animals”. I took Jaco over there to get God’s blessing. While he loves walks, he also loves people and other dogs, so it was hard to get him to sit still, because he wanted to greet everyone and every dog.

Pastor Malinda said the prayer of St. Francis of Assissi, and blessed Jaco.

Thank you, sweet Malinda, and I thank God for you.



Saturday, November 14, 2020

30 Days of Gratitude - Day 14

 Day 14 – November 14 – “Give thanks for your home.”

My home is something I am VERY thankful for.

This house is where I raised my sons, and where several other guys spent a big part of their childhood. There are so many memories here – both good and bad, if I’m perfectly honest. The good far outweigh the bad, though.

Aside from many years of warm, happy Christmases, there were also many fun Easters.

I cooked Easter dinner every year until about 2002.  After dinner, all the boys here hunted Easter eggs in the back yard. The plastic eggs had numbers inside them, and each number corresponded to a small gift, such as bubbles, matchbox cars, slinkys, and books. Three numbers always meant $20, $10 and $5. The year Mark was 22, his friend Josh said they were too old to hunt Easter eggs, but I said no eggs, no dinner.  He said, “Where is my basket?”

It turned out that was the last year they had the Easter eggs, but that year they had more fun with the little people toys than ever before – all of them in the yard blowing bubbles, playing whiffle ball, and feeding the birds.

My basement birthed many bands, some of which are still together and performing, and two are still practicing down there sometimes.

The house has stayed together thanks to many, many friends who have contributed talent, skill, and money. It needs work now, but I’m sure it will hold together until I’m gone.

I could have done things differently, some better, but some I did just right. My only REAL regret is selling the back lot to people who made my yard very dangerous and then built the ugliest house in the neighborhood about 50 feet from my bedroom window. That wouldn’t be so bad, except they took down my 30-year-old red maples and the flowering trees that we planted back in 1992.  I still keep the picture of those trees, because it makes me very happy.


But I still am very thankful for my home, and the memories it holds.


30 Days of Gratitude - Day 13

 Day 13 – November 13 – “Give thanks for your family. Be intentional today about encouraging one or several of your family members.”

I thank God EVERY DAY for my family.

So today I called my oldest living relative, Ruth. She is my dad’s first cousin, making her my second cousin, and she is 94 years old.

What an amazing woman! She still drives, and before COVID hit, she was line-dancing at the Senior Center every week and attending church every Sunday. She has a beautiful little garden home, and smokes 3-4 cigarettes a day out on her back patio.

But Ruth lives in about 1980. She has no computer and no cell phone. She does have a color TV, and spends her day reading and working crossword puzzles.

After COVID hit, and she couldn’t go to church anymore, someone brought her a CD player, and brings her a CD of her church’s weekly service.

I did send her a couple of masks several months ago.

She has survived the death of her husband of 50+ years, and the death of her older son (Bill, who weighed over 600 pounds). Her younger son, Tom, has been ill for years, but lives within an hour’s drive, so she drives over to visit him every couple of weeks. Tom is now bedbound and “can’t stay awake” more than a few minutes. Ruth still enjoys sitting with him.

So today I called Ruth. I wish I could hug her.

30 Days of Gratitude - Day 12

 Day 12 - November 12 - "Give thanks for your talents".

I do. I wish I hadn't ignored some of them for 30 years, so that now they're about gone.

But we do what we do, and for reasons others can't understand.

We can't change the past. We don't know the future.

We have only the present. It's our GIFT.

Wednesday, November 11, 2020

30 Days of Gratitude - Day 11

 Day 11 - November 11 Veterans Day - "Name a veteran that you're grateful for. Call, text, or write them a letter today thanking them for their service."

Today I identified 124 veterans I am particularly grateful for, and who have been instrumental in helping other veterans for years. All of them are active in one or more veterans service organizations (VSOs) that spend all year every year identifying veterans who are struggling and helping them, sponsoring programs for youth such as Boys State, Girls State, Boy Scouts, Legion Baseball, myriad scholarship opportunities for veterans' children, presenting counseling for veterans, doing PTSD and Moral Injury groups, helping the V.A. with things the government doesn't provide, like socks, blankets, programs at the National Cemetery (flags for Veterans Day and wreaths for Wreaths Across America), visiting other veterans (especially WWII and Korea War veterans) and providing transportation for veterans who have no way to get to appointments.

The assignment was to write them. So I put the 124 into 10 different categories of things they do, and wrote them all an email.

Thank you for all you do for our country!

30 Days of Gratitude - Day 10

 Day 10 - November 10 - "Give thanks for someone who encouraged you."

Pastor Malinda, This assignment gets harder and harder! So many people have encouraged me over the years that I don't even know where to start!

Beginning with my grandmother, who encouraged me to be kind, and who assured me I was smart and beautiful. She is the one who, when I lost my baby teeth, and my hair was stringy and straight, again said that "pretty is as pretty does" and "beauty is only skin deep. It's your character that matters".

When I got to high school, David Littleton encouraged me to learn to play the cello, but he also urged... no, actually pushed me into debate, orchestra, and reading "lurid literature"... introduced me to "Lady Chatterly's Lover".

Randy Marsh encouraged me to finish college, and Susan Hill encouraged me to write and to finish graduate school.

All my early mentors who encouraged me are deceased now.

Maybe one or more of them is/are still looking down at me and maybe even one of them is my guardian angel.

Monday, November 9, 2020

30 Days of Gratitude - Day 9

 Day 9 – November 9 – “Name a child that you’re grateful for. How do you imagine they’ll make the world a better place?’

Another hard one for me, because I’m not around children much. I have no grandchildren, so I go weeks on end without even SEEING a child, and usually only when I actually (used to) GO to church.

Ahhhhh! CHURCH!

Rose Weaver! She is about 8 now… in the 3rd grade this Fall. I probably have more contact with her than any other child I know. But not because of ME. Because of HER.

I won’t go into how beautiful she is, with her gorgeous red hair and her sweet smile, because all that beauty pales in comparison to her unconditional love for everyone she meets. “Everyone she meets” includes anyone who crosses her path.

Rose greets me every time she sees me. EVERY TIME.

She could teach the Dale Carnegie course, and maybe even add a few pointers of her own. She never forgets anyone’s name. Unless you have experienced it yourself, you have no idea what a warm feeling it is for a child you barely know to call you by name every time she sees you.

I’m grateful for Rose, but the rest of today’s question is about how she will make the world a better place. The answer is that she is ALREADY making the world a better place!

Rose exudes unconditional love. When you meet her, you might get the feeling she is an angel. She knows no hate, no political rhetoric, no unkindness of any sort. I don’t know about the whole rest of the world, but she is certainly making the world around her a MUCH better place! I’m thankful to be in her world.

Sunday, November 8, 2020

30 Days of Gratitude - Day 8

Day 8 – November 8 – “Give thanks for those that bless the church by planting flowers, mowing the lawn, and making the outside of the building look beautiful.”

Thanks indeed! The gardeners who perform these labors of love do so with their own equipment/mowers/clippers. They labor in the hot sun, with a spirit of grace and pride in their work. I lift them up in prayer and I’m very grateful for them.

But in this spirit, I’m also thankful for the volunteers who work every year for the Yard Work Ministry at the church. These guys mow lawns and weed-eat and clip hedges for people in the community who are unable to do it themselves. What a WONDERFUL ministry! Summer in Alabama is not a joke, with temperatures frequently hitting 100 degrees, with 90% humidity. Yet, these folks load up their mowers and head into the community. I give thanks for them too.

So while I’m thinking about it, I look around my neighborhood, and I see people out mowing their own lawns, but some of them ease on over to their neighbors’ lawns too. We have a lot of older people, but like many communities, some of our homes are “gentrified”, with millennials living there. These young people do not hesitate to do double lawn duty for their elderly neighbors. 

So on a broader scale than asked, I give thanks for all the people who help others keep their yards beautiful by donating a few hours of their time, and a bit of gasoline/oil for their mowers, and doubling up on the sweat.

Amen!

Saturday, November 7, 2020

30 Days of Gratitude - Day 7

 Day 7 – November 7 – “What is the best gift you’ve ever received?”

This is the most difficult topic so far, because “best” is so broad. It’s like asking me what is the best book I’ve ever read, or the best movie I’ve seen.

As for gifts, the one I treasure the most is a personal note on a Christmas card Mark gave me about 13 years ago. I still keep it in my Bible, and read it often. I have it memorized now, of course, but I still love to see his handwriting, because I see his face in my mind.

Another “best” gift is my Quilt of Valor. These are handmade for one veteran, and there is a cloth marker on the back of the quilt that states who made it, and for whom. Since I’m old, I actually use mine. It makes me feel cozy to wrap up in it.

My brother, Bob Galloway, and his wife Eunice have given me so much over the years… not just their love, but several trips to North Carolina, Washington D.C., and other places, and twice in the last 15 years or so, they have bailed me and my family out of dire emergencies. It’s hard to say what is the “best” gift they’ve given me.

Finally, the folded flag I was given by the Hoover Veterans Committee back in 2018. It was flown over the capitol in Alabama in my honor, and has the certificate signed by Governor Kay Ivey.

I’m thankful for all these gifts, and many more.